Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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