My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize