We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
