that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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