Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
