she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
