Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
