butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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