Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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