you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
