he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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