No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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