His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
