we're blogging at a bar
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
