im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
