Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
