Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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