why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
