he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
4 words: hood of his car
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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