i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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