I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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