At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
