you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is it penis luge time yet?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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