Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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