That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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