youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she smelled like a LAN party
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
