Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
