Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
