I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
