I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize