period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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