Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
