I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
