It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
