I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize