he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
