Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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