time to smoke my breakfast
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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