What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
