Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
