man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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