i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
