please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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