I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
