the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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