my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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