some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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