she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
