I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
