Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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