it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize