i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
