He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
