So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
two words: eviction party
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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