I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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