Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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