This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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