So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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