I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
