Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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